Book: The Irony of Love, Premarital And Extramarital Relationships
Author: Baruch Silas
Publisher: Lulu
Pages: 196
Reviewer: Dr. C.O. Uchegbu (Medical Director)
The non-fiction book, The Irony of Love, Premarital And Extramarital Relationships written by Baruch Silas is about love and relationships with reference to understanding the classes of love, building and maintaining healthy and sustainable relationships free of premarital sexual relations, cohabitation and extramarital infidelity.
The writer in The Power of Self-Worth, ventured into an allegory on romance and love by first establishing the power of self-worth, self-esteem, self-image and self-respect in regulation of love, premarital and extramarital relationships.
He declares that the opinion one has about himself determines to a large extent how one chooses his values, goals, love partner, formulate belief system and relates with the opposite sex in terms of acceptance of love advances and personal carriage.
When your individual self-worth is porous and fragile, you will suffer endless emotional and mental torture and humiliation in the hands of others.
Explaining further in How to Build Your Self-Image, one fully agrees with Baruch in the seven strategies discussed as ways to build and maintain an admirable personality.
Initially, he discussed all the ways whereby one looses his self-worth.
Baruch in Love and Infatuation reveals the transparent reasons which tilts infatuation against love because it harbours attributes that militate against healthy relationship.
He discusses the six indisputable sins of infatuation while revealing the admirable and sustainable character of love and its manifestations.
It is the responsibility of one who craves to enjoy a healthy relationship to imbibe, anticipate and practice these principles of romance and love to avoid heartbreak, hurt and bad memories.
Any reader will agree with the author that the bulk of the pain, emotional and physical damage experienced in love relationships is caused by a misunderstanding and misapplication of infatuation as love.
He confirmed these axioms by presenting verifiable confessions of those who have been burnt by the fires of infatuation and lust.
In Facing the Reality of Premarital Sexual Activity, the writer throws a bomb against the popular opinion that premarital sex and cohabitation are acceptable and normal in love relationships.
He argues that premarital sexual intimacy and cohabitation before marriage destroy the foundation of love and marriage thereby militates against a healthy and sustainable relationship.
Most times, when one of the partners wakes up to enthrone chastity and restraint into the relationship, it results in misunderstanding by the other partner, heated arguments and break-up.
The more sexually involved a male and a female become before marriage, the more difficult it is to develop genuine friendship, love or discuss sincerely about issues that significantly affect them such as values, interests, beliefs, and vision.
Moreover, the writer disagrees strongly with the accepted opinion that one indulges in premarital sexual activity only when there is a penetration.
He believes that every act that leads to the actual sexual intercourse make up premarital sex as the foreplay of kissing, fondling of body parts, touching of erotic zones and mutual masturbation and oral sex lead to sexual intercourse.
Baruch in Why We Must Abstain from Sex Before Marriage explored some reasons why youngsters and adult singles engage in premarital sexual activities and why and how to abstain until marriage even if one is a victim already.
He supports this stand point based on the physical, emotional, social, spiritual, health, and academic damages of premarital sex and cohabitation.
He strengthened it further with the confessions of those who are the victims of these effects.
The writer makes a bold impression on the reader as he discusses in How to Prevent Premarital Sexual Activities, the relationship strategies to adopt to remain chaste until marriage.
He declares how to break away from unhealthy relationship without breaking down which is usually the problem of many people.
Any reader will not help but notice the great force and passion of Baruch as he thrashes out the destructive effects of marital infidelity on the individual, family, friends and God and why couples give in to it.
Not everyone would agree with the author that no reason justifies the act of marital unfaithfulness.
However, he advises that the most potent alternative is not to run but flee from men and women who cannot keep their marriage vows.
Take a look at the Book HERE
Showing posts with label goals. Show all posts
Showing posts with label goals. Show all posts
Monday, September 6, 2010
Tuesday, July 13, 2010
The Best way to kill Your Goals
“If one person tells you that you are a horse, he is mad. If three people tell you you’re a horse, there is a conspiracy going on, but when ten people tell you you’re a horse, it is time to buy a saddle.” Jack Rosenblum
Lack of commitment to your Goals
This challenge goes hand in hand with prioritizing because if you are not truly committed to your goal, you simply won’t make it a priority in your life.When you first set a goal, it becomes a personal decision and pledge to take an action or series of actions with certain resources within a frame of time for an expected outcome. That means pledging to the fact that you will follow through. But how often do you really mean this when you set goals?
What many of us do instead is attach little addendums to our pledge, like staying committed until we lose interest or obstacles threaten our confidence. That is why being crystal clear about what you really want is so important. You are much more likely to go the distance for something you want badly rather than a vague desire.
In addition, no matter your objective, you will need to make a firm commitment to achieving it no matter what happens. That is what commitment is; a pledge of constancy and loyalty.
So how do you get committed, and stay committed to a goal? The number one way is to make your goal so vitally important that quitting is simply not an option. Imagine what it would be like to have a goal that you simply couldn’t give up on; a goal that you would work toward for years on end if you had to.
Are your goals that important? If not, you have got two choices:
1. Make them look all Important
Take some time to think about the negative consequences of abandoning your goal. What would the likely outcome be? Would it be poor health, poverty, reduced lifespan, professional stagnation, depression and feeling of dissatisfaction? Are you willing to accept those outcomes? You have got to convince yourself that it’s “do or die” when it comes to your goals. You will either succeed, or die trying.
If I may use the slogan of my good friend, William, “it is either you succeed or you succeed.” To this young man, there is just no option for loosing but a condition to win by achieving your goals. This is the type of mindset you need towards actualizing your aspirations.
2. Choose a Better Goal
If you just can’t summon the level of commitment needed to achieve your goal, it’s probably not as important as you’d like it to be. Take some time to think about what you really want, and set a goal that will be vitally important; important enough to inspire a rock-solid level of commitment in you.
Impractical Expectations
This is another weapon you could use to kill your goals. Many people lost their dreams because of the hope for unreasonable, impracticable and idealistic outcomes. They set unrealistic expectations and are frustrated when they fail to achieve such them.
When you set unrealistic expectations, you find yourself struggling almost from the beginning, feeling overwhelmed and frustrated when you don’t seem to be progressing as quickly as you planned. Rather than acknowledging that you may have set your sights too high, you may be tempted to give up altogether. You may mistakenly blame other factors as the cause of your failure or retarded progress. This was my friend’s experience when he first attempted to develop a business online. He thought he would make millions in a flash. His expectations were too high and he expected that to happen within the shortest possible time which never happened and he had to abandon the business till date.
You can’t expect to make a giant leap from clerk of a company to a Managing Director in a matter of weeks or go from 100m sprint to a marathon hero without first undertaking months of training, trials, disappointments and corrections.
Be practical and reasonable on what outcome you expect from your goals and you will achieve them.
Kindly leave a comment if this article made an impression on you.
Baruch Okpulor, Author of Think Like God And Rule Your World
Talk to him on baruchmails@gmail.com
Lack of commitment to your Goals
This challenge goes hand in hand with prioritizing because if you are not truly committed to your goal, you simply won’t make it a priority in your life.When you first set a goal, it becomes a personal decision and pledge to take an action or series of actions with certain resources within a frame of time for an expected outcome. That means pledging to the fact that you will follow through. But how often do you really mean this when you set goals?
What many of us do instead is attach little addendums to our pledge, like staying committed until we lose interest or obstacles threaten our confidence. That is why being crystal clear about what you really want is so important. You are much more likely to go the distance for something you want badly rather than a vague desire.
In addition, no matter your objective, you will need to make a firm commitment to achieving it no matter what happens. That is what commitment is; a pledge of constancy and loyalty.
So how do you get committed, and stay committed to a goal? The number one way is to make your goal so vitally important that quitting is simply not an option. Imagine what it would be like to have a goal that you simply couldn’t give up on; a goal that you would work toward for years on end if you had to.
Are your goals that important? If not, you have got two choices:
1. Make them look all Important
Take some time to think about the negative consequences of abandoning your goal. What would the likely outcome be? Would it be poor health, poverty, reduced lifespan, professional stagnation, depression and feeling of dissatisfaction? Are you willing to accept those outcomes? You have got to convince yourself that it’s “do or die” when it comes to your goals. You will either succeed, or die trying.
If I may use the slogan of my good friend, William, “it is either you succeed or you succeed.” To this young man, there is just no option for loosing but a condition to win by achieving your goals. This is the type of mindset you need towards actualizing your aspirations.
2. Choose a Better Goal
If you just can’t summon the level of commitment needed to achieve your goal, it’s probably not as important as you’d like it to be. Take some time to think about what you really want, and set a goal that will be vitally important; important enough to inspire a rock-solid level of commitment in you.
Impractical Expectations
This is another weapon you could use to kill your goals. Many people lost their dreams because of the hope for unreasonable, impracticable and idealistic outcomes. They set unrealistic expectations and are frustrated when they fail to achieve such them.
When you set unrealistic expectations, you find yourself struggling almost from the beginning, feeling overwhelmed and frustrated when you don’t seem to be progressing as quickly as you planned. Rather than acknowledging that you may have set your sights too high, you may be tempted to give up altogether. You may mistakenly blame other factors as the cause of your failure or retarded progress. This was my friend’s experience when he first attempted to develop a business online. He thought he would make millions in a flash. His expectations were too high and he expected that to happen within the shortest possible time which never happened and he had to abandon the business till date.
You can’t expect to make a giant leap from clerk of a company to a Managing Director in a matter of weeks or go from 100m sprint to a marathon hero without first undertaking months of training, trials, disappointments and corrections.
Be practical and reasonable on what outcome you expect from your goals and you will achieve them.
Kindly leave a comment if this article made an impression on you.
Baruch Okpulor, Author of Think Like God And Rule Your World
Talk to him on baruchmails@gmail.com
How to Achieve Your Life Goals
“You don't get in life what you want, you get what you are.” Les Brown
A lot of people set goals with the drive to achieve them but abandon such great ideas after few months. There are rules that should guide the conception and actualization of your goals.
Here are some nuggets that would direct and spur you towards your purpose of creation and help you keep an eye on your life script.
Describe Your Goals in details. Be as specific as possible.
Ambiguous goals are difficult to achieve if not impossible. They are like ship on the sea with no specified direction. The uncertainty surrendering such goals creates confusion and obstruction to their achievement. This is why you need to state your goals in simple and definite terms you could easily understand.
Now consider this example. “I will go the University” and “I will go to the University of Manchester in UK in 2011 to study Economics at the undergraduate level.”
You would believe with me that there is a wide margin between the descriptions of this goal. The difference between these sentences is that the first is an idea and a wish while the second is a goal. The first states what you want but it is unclear about when and where. Ambiguous goals are difficult to organize and therefore confusing to realize.
You Should Write Down Your Goals
Remember that your goal is your project and needs the best attention, dedication and commitment you could give it to make it a reality. This is a way to subconsciously tell yourself that you are ready and committed to what you have conceived. The project Manager has a well defined plan and stages of actions to actualize the project he is handling. You must treat your goals that same way if they mean anything to you.
Writing down your goals would help you determine why you failed to achieve that task on that day at the set time. It may take you some minutes to write down each day’s progress while revealing to you how daily small steps bring you closer to your target.
Also, it removes the temptation of not doing anything each day since you know you have to put down something at the end of the day. Don’t keep your goals on your head, write them down NOW.
Set a Deadline for Your Goals
Setting a deadline on your goals spurs you to action since you are aware that you don’t have all the time in the world to get down on them. It suffocates the evil of procrastination and paralysis analysis.
Remember we agreed that every life goal is a project. Every type of project has a set time for completion and the project manager applies all strategies, skills and knowledge to ensure that the project is completed at the agreed time and best quality.
Another benefit of setting a deadline on your goals is that it gives room for evaluation and adjustments. Evaluation involves comparison of your performance or achievements within a set time to the overall result. It reveals to you how far you have gone and how you performed and what is remaining to be done. It reveals your mistakes and oversights and the need to correct them. It also reveals your strengths and the need to improve on them.
The top is meant for you. Get there as soon as you find it.
Kindly leave a comment if this article made an impression on you.
Baruch Okpulor, Author of The Secret of Supernatural Power and Prosperity
Talk to him on baruchmails@gmail.com
A lot of people set goals with the drive to achieve them but abandon such great ideas after few months. There are rules that should guide the conception and actualization of your goals.
Here are some nuggets that would direct and spur you towards your purpose of creation and help you keep an eye on your life script.
Describe Your Goals in details. Be as specific as possible.
Ambiguous goals are difficult to achieve if not impossible. They are like ship on the sea with no specified direction. The uncertainty surrendering such goals creates confusion and obstruction to their achievement. This is why you need to state your goals in simple and definite terms you could easily understand.
Now consider this example. “I will go the University” and “I will go to the University of Manchester in UK in 2011 to study Economics at the undergraduate level.”
You would believe with me that there is a wide margin between the descriptions of this goal. The difference between these sentences is that the first is an idea and a wish while the second is a goal. The first states what you want but it is unclear about when and where. Ambiguous goals are difficult to organize and therefore confusing to realize.
You Should Write Down Your Goals
Remember that your goal is your project and needs the best attention, dedication and commitment you could give it to make it a reality. This is a way to subconsciously tell yourself that you are ready and committed to what you have conceived. The project Manager has a well defined plan and stages of actions to actualize the project he is handling. You must treat your goals that same way if they mean anything to you.
Writing down your goals would help you determine why you failed to achieve that task on that day at the set time. It may take you some minutes to write down each day’s progress while revealing to you how daily small steps bring you closer to your target.
Also, it removes the temptation of not doing anything each day since you know you have to put down something at the end of the day. Don’t keep your goals on your head, write them down NOW.
Set a Deadline for Your Goals
Setting a deadline on your goals spurs you to action since you are aware that you don’t have all the time in the world to get down on them. It suffocates the evil of procrastination and paralysis analysis.
Remember we agreed that every life goal is a project. Every type of project has a set time for completion and the project manager applies all strategies, skills and knowledge to ensure that the project is completed at the agreed time and best quality.
Another benefit of setting a deadline on your goals is that it gives room for evaluation and adjustments. Evaluation involves comparison of your performance or achievements within a set time to the overall result. It reveals to you how far you have gone and how you performed and what is remaining to be done. It reveals your mistakes and oversights and the need to correct them. It also reveals your strengths and the need to improve on them.
The top is meant for you. Get there as soon as you find it.
Kindly leave a comment if this article made an impression on you.
Baruch Okpulor, Author of The Secret of Supernatural Power and Prosperity
Talk to him on baruchmails@gmail.com
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