Free Sample of Book Review on The Irony of Love, Premarital Relationship

Book: The Irony of Love, Premarital And Extramarital Relationships
Author: Baruch Silas
Publisher: Lulu
Pages: 196
Reviewer: Dr. C.O. Uchegbu (Medical Director)

The non-fiction book, The Irony of Love, Premarital And Extramarital Relationships written by Baruch Silas is about love and relationships with reference to understanding the classes of love, building and maintaining healthy and sustainable relationships free of premarital sexual relations, cohabitation and extramarital infidelity.

The writer in The Power of Self-Worth, ventured into an allegory on romance and love by first establishing the power of self-worth, self-esteem, self-image and self-respect in regulation of love, premarital and extramarital relationships.
He declares that the opinion one has about himself determines to a large extent how one chooses his values, goals, love partner, formulate belief system and relates with the opposite sex in terms of acceptance of love advances and personal carriage.
When your individual self-worth is porous and fragile, you will suffer endless emotional and mental torture and humiliation in the hands of others.
Explaining further in How to Build Your Self-Image, one fully agrees with Baruch in the seven strategies discussed as ways to build and maintain an admirable personality.
Initially, he discussed all the ways whereby one looses his self-worth.

Baruch in Love and Infatuation reveals the transparent reasons which tilts infatuation against love because it harbours attributes that militate against healthy relationship.
He discusses the six indisputable sins of infatuation while revealing the admirable and sustainable character of love and its manifestations.
It is the responsibility of one who craves to enjoy a healthy relationship to imbibe, anticipate and practice these principles of romance and love to avoid heartbreak, hurt and bad memories.

Any reader will agree with the author that the bulk of the pain, emotional and physical damage experienced in love relationships is caused by a misunderstanding and misapplication of infatuation as love.
He confirmed these axioms by presenting verifiable confessions of those who have been burnt by the fires of infatuation and lust.

In Facing the Reality of Premarital Sexual Activity, the writer throws a bomb against the popular opinion that premarital sex and cohabitation are acceptable and normal in love relationships.
He argues that premarital sexual intimacy and cohabitation before marriage destroy the foundation of love and marriage thereby militates against a healthy and sustainable relationship.
Most times, when one of the partners wakes up to enthrone chastity and restraint into the relationship, it results in misunderstanding by the other partner, heated arguments and break-up.
The more sexually involved a male and a female become before marriage, the more difficult it is to develop genuine friendship, love or discuss sincerely about issues that significantly affect them such as values, interests, beliefs, and vision.

Moreover, the writer disagrees strongly with the accepted opinion that one indulges in premarital sexual activity only when there is a penetration.
He believes that every act that leads to the actual sexual intercourse make up premarital sex as the foreplay of kissing, fondling of body parts, touching of erotic zones and mutual masturbation and oral sex lead to sexual intercourse.

Baruch in Why We Must Abstain from Sex Before Marriage explored some reasons why youngsters and adult singles engage in premarital sexual activities and why and how to abstain until marriage even if one is a victim already.
He supports this stand point based on the physical, emotional, social, spiritual, health, and academic damages of premarital sex and cohabitation.
He strengthened it further with the confessions of those who are the victims of these effects.

The writer makes a bold impression on the reader as he discusses in How to Prevent Premarital Sexual Activities, the relationship strategies to adopt to remain chaste until marriage.
He declares how to break away from unhealthy relationship without breaking down which is usually the problem of many people.
Any reader will not help but notice the great force and passion of Baruch as he thrashes out the destructive effects of marital infidelity on the individual, family, friends and God and why couples give in to it.

Not everyone would agree with the author that no reason justifies the act of marital unfaithfulness.
However, he advises that the most potent alternative is not to run but flee from men and women who cannot keep their marriage vows.


Take a look at the Book HERE

THE SWEETNESS OF OFFICE ROMANCE

The chief cause of failure and unhappiness is trading what we want most for what we want at the moment- Anonymous

Recently, a friend of mine called me one night to seek my opinion on this issue.
She told me that her boss who is married with kids is interested in her with promises to do so much for her if she would be his mistress.
Her call quickly reminded me of what happened in my former place of work where one of the company partners was in the habit of engaging in sizzling romance with the branch managers of the company.
It started as a rumour within the branches that the man who is in his late forties is fond of “tasting” the single ladies in the company. I curiously became interested though baffled because of his personality.

What Promotes Office Romance?

Depreciating beauty of the Spouse

One reason that my friend’s boss gave was that the wife doesn’t look attractive to him any longer. I have discovered that most women engage in much “paintings and rubbings” while they are single. They are very conscious of their bodies-body size, shape, skin colour especially in the black race, hair, nails, and other parts. I see this everyday in my office.
It’s quite surprising to me how some women throw these “beauty rituals” to the wind once they give birth to a child or two. Some men argue that this creates path and grants them the ticket for infidelity.

A Rat and Cat Home

Some men have become the cat and the women the rat in some homes.
Most men could not imagine going home to get emotional peace from their family because of the nagging of the wife while the woman could not stand the physical assault that the man gives her. Either of the two may decide to keep late nights in pretence of attending Executive meetings while keeping warm in the arms of the partner in the office.

Companionship

In the developing world where employees are not paid per hour but run the 12-hour work schedule of 8am till 6pm or more, most office executives leave the office very late at night 10pm but leave their homes very early in the morning. Even the employee of the lowest grade works daily from 8am till 5 or 6pm on the average including Saturdays even Sundays in some cases.
This development makes him or her spend more time in the office than at home.
The man or woman may not devote her time to satisfying the emotional and sexual needs of the spouse which may cause marital deviation.

Lack of expression of Love

Human by his/her make-up needs care and attention and love whether Philia, Eros, agape or Storge.
Most married people may engage junior workers or subordinates in relationships for emotional and sexual satisfaction with a promise to satisfy their financial needs. This situation is aggravated by the fact that the man or woman has little or no time for the spouse because of official or business engagements which may keep him/her away from the spouse and children for weeks.

Insatiable sexual Appetite

Different individuals-man and woman have different degree of libido just as one man may be easily provoked than the other.
I have met most men who cannot stay with one woman for months let alone years. These men are better off taking on ladies for a night than a dedicated commitment of a lifetime.
Others have strong sexual addiction or the habit of getting at whatever is on skirt or appeals to their eyes. It goes for both sexes and I have seen this happen severally.

Quest for unrestricted Access

A lady friend of mine once told me that a lady becomes equal with the man the day he starts having sex with her. Most of the “official paraphernalia” get removed and freedom is enthroned.
I don’t know how true this assertion is, but I know that my branch manager as at then got all she needed whenever she needed them. No one dares stop her because she has a free access to the BOSS who romances her.
She is at liberty to discuss any issue, stamp her opinion and made daring demands at will.

Guarantees an unmerited Authority

The man or lady who is in hot romance with the Boss or a superior officer automatically places himself or herself above every other staff. This is so prominent among the ladies. They would flaunt it on other ladies especially those who proved stubborn to the boss.
Sometimes, she may use this power as a means of vendetta on those she perceives as a threat to her existence in the office. She may take decisions, issue corporate orders under the guise of the Boss and humiliate certain people.
I remember that my former Manager issued many memos to some staff which led to salary deductions, sanctions and even demanded at a time that some staff members’ appointment be terminated because they resisted her arrogance.

Recommended Book:

The Irony of Love, Premarital and Extramarital Relationships