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Sunday, October 3, 2010

How Not to Choose a Marriage Partner

One of the first major tests in the life of every adult single is the test of choosing a life partner-wife or husband. The maturity, cleverness and preference of the man or lady are brought into scrutiny in the process. The ability of the young man or lady to correctly identify and select his wife or accept her husband in the midst of thousands of other women is an arduous task.
Therefore, every adult single must be led by God, the Creator of the marriage institution in order to make the right choice of spouse.

Part of the problem encountered by adult singles in choosing life partners is that they adopt worldly patterns and perspectives in choosing life partners.

a. Love at first Sight may be dangerous

What most singles call “love at first sight” has turned to be “lust at first sight.” Getting married is not like cooking a fast food. You may truly fall in love at first sight but don’t be hasty to sign the marriage register to avoid regrets later.
Take time to study your prospective spouse, the values, beliefs, interests, background, vision and weaknesses.

b. Don’t Select a Spouse based on Tribal Sentiments

God is not tribalistic for he would have sent Jesus to die for a particular tribe or race or not the world John 3:16.
Sometimes, most people who married based solely on tribal and racial beliefs regret that action. Marriage is not about tribe but the Will and purpose of God for your life.
No tribe is inferior to the other or superior to others. The spirit behind tribalism or ethnocentrism is clearly satanic.
God warns, “there is no Jew, Greek, bond, free, barbaric, Scythian but we are all one in Christ Jesus.”
God is the perfect match maker. Submit to him to lead you to who you should marry.

c. Don’t Select a Partner based on Materialism

Covetousness and greed are the insatiable desire for worldly gain. Some men and women desire marriage because of the wealth and physical things they stand to get. They focus their attention on what they can see-beauty, height, fair skin, straight legs, wealthy background, fat bank account.
God warns, “Beauty is vain.” For we brought nothing into this world, and it is certain we can carry nothing out.
Most people who married for beauty and materialism regret it because they discovered with emotional pain that the people they married are not what they represented. Don’t be another victim.

d. Don’t select a Spouse based solely on Status

It is a norm in the society for the children of the rich to marry children of same class. That’s why we found arranged marriages.
Sadly, this evil creeps into the Christian family. Some wealthy Christians relate with only the wealthy in the church and the children are programmed to do so.
Contrariwise, some children of the average parents are taught to mind their business and discouraged to be friends with the ruling and wealthy class.
Some parents quash proposed marriages except among their class.

Recommended Books:

The Irony of Love, Premarital and Extramarital Relationships

Stop Existing! Start Living!

Breaking the Hold of Self-Slavery

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