Some people who are married today found it easy to do so, yet there are many adult singles that are due for marriage but are not. Few churches can boast of joining more than 20 to 30 couples in marriage every year.
God intended that man should fulfill his covenant of creation through marriage, thus he said, “it is not good that the man should be alone” Genesis 2:18.
Marriage was instituted for the purpose of procreation and preservation of purity. The task of being fruitful, multiplying and generally taking dominion over creation is better done by a man and woman, in the partnership of marriage.
There are few reasons why you are not married:
a. Fear of failing
A 6-year old girl was asked what sort of man she would marry when she grew up. She took a stern look at the uncle and said, “Uncle, I will never get married, never! Because mommy and daddy are always fighting and that’s because they’re married.”
Many adult singles have this wrong notion of marriage. Their views of the marriage institution are distorted by the unsuccessful marriages of those around them. They live with an unconscious or conscious fear of failure in marriage. This has the tendency to cause them to hesitate to get married when due.
Others who are afraid to get married are those who grew up in abusive families. This include families where the father or mother is an alcoholic, drug dependent, wife barter, or suffered sexual abuse by step-father or mother.
The best way to heal is to begin to forget your past by forgiving those who have hurt you in the past; seeking for strength in God and the ability to live on.
The book, “The Irony of Love, Premarital and Extramarital Relationships, discusses how to heal after a hurtful past. This may not be easy but is impossible and the best for you.
Remember, no one can take away your happiness without your permission.
b. Having the spirit of Apathy
Many adult singles may have adequate knowledge on the purpose of marriage. They may have seen successful marriages rooted in love, yet they are burdened by the spirit of apathy. They don’t seem to be moved by the thought of getting married. Your marriage is important to you, God, your family and the world.
Delay leads to hasty and wrong decisions which often lead to mistakes in choosing a partner.
c. Lack of knowledge on the Purpose of Marriage
An intending couple that is fully aware of the purpose of marriage will most likely be given the divine license and favour to marry faster than those ignorant of the purpose of marriage. Some people feel they should marry because their friends, schoolmates, colleagues or relations are married. Others think it is traditional to marry when one is of age. Yet, others get married because they feel it’s time to enjoy the sexual pleasures of marriage.
All these reasons are outside God’s purpose for establishing the marriage institution. Marriage is for companionship; procreation; expansion of God’s kingdom on earth by raising godly children; conjugation; demonstration of love among couples and support.
d. Living in Sexual Sin
Many adult singles dwell in sexual immorality via premarital sexual relationship and cohabitation before marriage. They have access to as many men and ladies they want to satisfy their sexual appetite and feel it is unnecessary to settle down soon in marriage. As long as you remain in the sin of fornication, you shut heaven from revealing the right partner for your life. Devil will always show you counterfeit partners.
e. Being Choosy
Some adult singles ignorantly wait to get married until it becomes too late. Some ladies who are endowed by God with beautiful physical appearance become so selective that they could turn down as many marriage proposals as they want.
This often happens when they are very young and elegant.
Suddenly, the tides of time overtake them and panic strikes their heart that they are getting old. They waited for a man with a car, house, a great job and fat bank account.
They get involved in any and every type of relationship for fear that they may never have any other chance. This is marriage of convenience.
A faulty foundation makes every other thing faulty. Delay brings anxiety, anxiety leads to mistakes and mistakes leads to failure and regret.
God warns, “To every thing, there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven.”
The Irony of Love, Premarital and Extramarital Relationships
Stop Existing! Start Living!