“To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment.” -Ralph Waldo Emerson
There are some factors which are responsible for the loss of self worth. It is necessary that you understand these parameters to enable you manage your personality among your peers and the public.
Comparing Yourself to Others
Many youngsters and adults are not proud of their physical appearance. You may compare your shape and physical endowments to others. You may wish you were taller or slimmer. You may wish you had a pointed nose, bigger hips, longer nails, rounded head or bigger eyes. You often admire others but never yourself. You feel inferior to others and often come up short.
Nancy Pelt said, “Every time you compare yourself to someone else, you will come out second best. When you feel second best, you will act second best.”
You will always see the other person as having the better job, admirable body shape, better look, and better height, more money, more wealth, better dressed, better this and better that.
Generally speaking, the higher you rate your looks, the higher your self-worth. The less satisfied you are with your personal appearance, the lower your feelings of worth. You must appreciate the fact that you are made in God’s image in a fearful and wonderful manner. When you fail to do so, you insult God. You are telling Him that His architectural proficiency is faulty.
The incomplete book of failures reported that in 1977, an extremely small, skinny Italian man developed an attraction for large English women. While dancing with an English woman, however, he suddenly fainted. Doctors discovered that he had been wearing seventeen wool sweaters to make himself look heavily built. Do you feel the same way as this Italian man? This is the time to correct such self-destructive feeling about your person.
Many people who have poor self-esteem developed it during the childhood days. Jack Canfield talks about childhood programming. It is a state of mind and learning where we grow to become what we were taught or made to believe what our parents, siblings and guardians believe.
It is indoctrination. It could be opinion about what we can do or cannot do, how intelligent we are, how beautiful we are or about the economy, government, our neighbours, religion, or any other issue of life. This programming could affect us adversely or advantageously when we become adults.
We all love to be admired, encouraged, praised and loved. This starts in our homes. Many of us are fortunate to be raised in homes that radiate love and attention.
Our parents reminded us by words and actions how precious we are and how much they love us. This display of affection gradually built an admirable image of self-worth. We carried our heads high as “special” children when we are in the midst of other children.
Unfortunately, many children were not so privileged. You may have grown up in homes that harboured resentment, brutality, bitterness, pain and sorrow. Homes where the Dad and Mom never agreed. Homes where the children were physically, emotionally, and sexually abused. The children raised in such homes are usually withdrawn, lonely, brutal and embittered. They attach little or no value to their lives as God’s wonderful creatures, made in His image. They may also treat people with the same brutality they experienced because they don’t value life or regard self-worth.
Also, in situations we were cajoled by our parents or siblings repeatedly reminded us that we are stupid, unintelligent, worthless, never-do-well, too fat, too short, big-headed, and pig-headed. These constant messages gradually get ingrained in our subconscious that that’s what we are. This would affect our opinion about our personality, abilities and potentials. Parents should avoid using these self-damaging comments against their wards.
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Baruch Okpulor, Author of Pornography, Masturbation And Cyber Sex: The Slave Master of the Millennium
Talk to him at email@example.com