It is good to know that you have a problem with poor self-concept. It is more significant to discover how to get out of it and ripe the benefits of the feeling of high self-image.
The truth is that it is possible to develop a high self-esteem no matter how long you have lived with a poor self-image or what caused such feelings. Time heals all wounds but you have also much to do to recover from your hurts.
Therefore, if you think you can, then you can.
You need to understand that no one else can change you except yourself. There must be a desire to drop the past and grow new attitude and behavioural patters.
There are ways to boost self-worth and few of these approaches are discussed below.
Learn to Love Yourself
One interesting fact I see in the bible is that God is love and loves mankind beyond human imagination. He instructs man to love his fellow man with same love He, God, has loved man with.
I wonder if any man can love another when he hates himself! I doubt the possibility of giving so much love to others when you are an embodiment of bitterness and ungratefulness.
So, the first step is to love yourself the way God loves you. Think positively about your image, person, abilities and your overall makeup. Tell yourself that you are beautiful.
Do you know that there are people who admire you even when you hate yourself or retain feelings of inferiority about yourself? You may not know it but it is the fact. You can’t be all that bad. Do you think God would send Jesus to die for a worthless and valueless person?
God knew that we are great. The death of Christ is to manifest that greatness.
One reason why we fall into the dungeon of poor self-worth is lack of the understanding of who we are. When we discover ourselves and God-given potentials, talents and skills, we become liberated from the claws of mediocrity and feelings of worthlessness.
Matthew Arnold said, “Resolve to be thyself and know that he who finds himself loses his misery.”
Discovering your abilities and desirable qualities would transform your boredom to passion, emptiness to fulfilment, aimlessness to focus and determination, and failure to success.
Refocus Your Thought by Replacement
You don’t defeat the thoughts of low self-worth by resisting them or trying to block them in your mind. The more you fight the feelings of poor self-image in this way, the more it devours and continues to command you.
Change the channel of your mind and get interested in another idea or thought. This is what Rick calls the principle of replacement. The battle for self-defeating thoughts is won in the heart.
People with low self-worth develop negative thoughts and self-talks about themselves. They harbour feelings of insecurity and inferiority. These thoughts and self-talk become part of them through repeated negative thinking patterns. Since they don’t like themselves and attach little to their makeup, they look for things that seem to prove this wrong opinion about self.
Some of these negative thoughts against yourself include:
o I am not attractive, so no one would love me
o I am too short, I wish I was taller
o My parents always tell me that I’m stupid, so I am
o I am not intelligent
o I am shy
o I am too fat
o I am thin
o My parents are not rich
o I can’t make friends easily
Begin to be conscious of these thoughts and gather them as they come to mind. Replace them with positive thoughts and self-talk about your person.
Behavioural experts tell us that it takes twenty one to forty five days to change these habits which have been part of you for some years or months. So, don’t be in a hurry to see results and don’t quit until you see a change.
Have you heard of Dr. Glenn Cunningham, the man who ran the fastest mile?
He was a little boy who was responsible for heating their school classroom using an old-fashioned, pot-bellied coal stove. He had to come to school early each day to start the fire and warm the classroom before his teacher and classmates arrived.
One morning they arrived to find the classroom engulfed in flames. They dragged the unconscious body of this eight year old out of the flaming building. He had major burns over the lower half of his body and somehow, to the amazement of the physician who predicted his death, he survived. After many weeks the doctor told the mother that it would almost be better if had died, since he was doomed to be a lifetime cripple with no use at all of his lower limbs.
Once more, the brave boy made up his mind that he would not be a cripple but would walk again with his legs.
Shockingly, through daily massages, his iron persistence and his resolute determination, he developed the ability to stand up, then to walk using a stick, then to walk by himself and then to run. He began to walk and run to school.
Later in college, he made the track team. In Madison Square Garden, this young man who has been written off as useless ran the world’s fastest mile.
Therefore, it is not how you look that matters; it is how you interpret how you look.
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Baruch Okpulor, Pornography, Masturbation And Cyber Sex: The Slave Master of the Millennium
Talk to him at firstname.lastname@example.org