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Friday, July 23, 2010


The chief cause of failure and unhappiness is trading what we want most for what we want at the moment-

Recently, a friend of mine called me one night to seek my opinion on this issue.
She told me that her boss who is married with kids is interested in her with promises to do so much for her if she would be his mistress.
Her call quickly reminded me of what happened in my former place of work where one of the company partners was in the habit of engaging in sizzling romance with the branch managers of the company.
It started as a rumour within the branches that the man who is in his late forties is fond of “tasting” the single ladies in the company. I curiously became interested though baffled because of his personality.

What Promotes Office Romance?

Depreciating beauty of the Spouse

One reason that my friend’s boss gave was that the wife doesn’t look attractive to him any longer. I have discovered that most women engage in much “paintings and rubbings” while they are single. They are very conscious of their bodies-body size, shape, skin colour especially in the black race, hair, nails, and other parts. I see this everyday in my office.
It’s quite surprising to me how some women throw these “beauty rituals” to the wind once they give birth to a child or two. Some men argue that this creates path and grants them the ticket for infidelity.

A Rat and Cat Home

Some men have become the cat and the women the rat in some homes.
Most men could not imagine going home to get emotional peace from their family because of the nagging of the wife while the woman could not stand the physical assault that the man gives her. Either of the two may decide to keep late nights in pretence of attending Executive meetings while keeping warm in the arms of the partner in the office.


In the developing world where employees are not paid per hour but run the 12-hour work schedule of 8am till 6pm or more, most office executives leave the office very late at night 10pm but leave their homes very early in the morning. Even the employee of the lowest grade works daily from 8am till 5 or 6pm on the average including Saturdays even Sundays in some cases.
This development makes him or her spend more time in the office than at home.
The man or woman may not devote her time to satisfying the emotional and sexual needs of the spouse which may cause marital deviation.

Lack of expression of Love

Human by his/her make-up needs care and attention and love whether Philia, Eros, agape or Storge.
Most married people may engage junior workers or subordinates in relationships for emotional and sexual satisfaction with a promise to satisfy their financial needs. This situation is aggravated by the fact that the man or woman has little or no time for the spouse because of official or business engagements which may keep him/her away from the spouse and children for weeks.

Insatiable sexual Appetite

Different individuals-man and woman have different degree of libido just as one man may be easily provoked than the other.
I have met most men who cannot stay with one woman for months let alone years. These men are better off taking on ladies for a night than a dedicated commitment of a lifetime.
Others have strong sexual addiction or the habit of getting at whatever is on skirt or appeals to their eyes. It goes for both sexes and I have seen this happen severally.

Quest for unrestricted Access

A lady friend of mine once told me that a lady becomes equal with the man the day he starts having sex with her. Most of the “official paraphernalia” get removed and freedom is enthroned.
I don’t know how true this assertion is, but I know that my branch manager as at then got all she needed whenever she needed them. No one dares stop her because she has a free access to the BOSS who romances her.
She is at liberty to discuss any issue, stamp her opinion and made daring demands at will.

Guarantees an unmerited Authority

The man or lady who is in hot romance with the Boss or a superior officer automatically places himself or herself above every other staff. This is so prominent among the ladies. They would flaunt it on other ladies especially those who proved stubborn to the boss.
Sometimes, she may use this power as a means of vendetta on those she perceives as a threat to her existence in the office. She may take decisions, issue corporate orders under the guise of the Boss and humiliate certain people.
I remember that my former Manager issued many memos to some staff which led to salary deductions, sanctions and even demanded at a time that some staff members’ appointment be terminated because they resisted her arrogance.

Recommended Book:

The Irony of Love, Premarital and Extramarital Relationships

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